I've probably started this entry at least three or four times. I think now that my mind has settled down sort of, I'm hoping I can get some of this out.

Last night was awful. Literally one of the worst nights I can fathom happening in a long time. There are so many elements and different things but they're all awful in their own particular way. Mostly, I was just disappointed. I was disappointed in people and their inability to communicate and listen to what other people have to say. The oblivious sighted person can only see what's set in front of them. And as I'm just as guilty as many a lot of the time, it doesn't detracted from the sickness in my stomach when I see violence, disrespect, and such a hostile state of distaste. I'd like to say it left a bitter taste in my mouth, but it made me want to fucking vomit.

I can complain. I can criticize. And I can tear down everything I don't like about hardcore in Sacramento. I can do the same with people I considered friends. I can do the same with people I genuinely cared about. And now I'm left here, writing in this fucking blog about it. It doesn't change anything. My feelings, my opinion, my solutions, they literally mean nothing. Because there's too much momentum. And I don't think I can do anything about it. And it sucks. But that's part of the solution.

Leaving is going to be so good. Getting out of here will feel so great.

I felt like I had more to write. And I sort of do. But the words are too fragile. And certain hearts aren't to be toyed with.